Have you thought of why you are always angry, furious and easily annoyed? How do you vent your anger?
Do you strike, yell or hurt someone or even yourself? Or do you keep it inside and let it stew until you can't keep it anymore and burst into a fury? Many people who have no control over their wrath get livid, frantic and go berserk. They become delirious and release their rage by hitting, kicking, denying or screaming.
If you get easily angered and riled up, it indicates that you are suffering from an emotional problem. Some of the causes of your anger are due to emotional wounds that aren't healed, resentments that aren't settled and your interpretations of things, events and people. You acquired and developed most of these from your childhood and upbringing.
If you have seen how angry people behave, you would understand how frustrating it is to deal with them. So it is therefore necessary that you learn to deal with and manage your anger so that those who are near and dear to you feel at ease. Remember that your children are watching and emulating your behavior and attitude. They may grow up to be just like you like how you grew up watching your parents. Furthermore getting angry easily isn't good for your health.
"Anger that is expressed angrily begets more anger. Letting it out is like throwing gasoline on a fire. The only way to handle anger is to control it, and then either use it or forget it." - Dr. Diane Tice
Change your thinking.
When you strike out at someone either physically or verbally it will give you a momentary release. But the effect to the person whom you have hurt is lasting and permanent. You should allow people and situation to be the way they are. You aren't able to change people, they must want to change themselves.
You will use this same approach each time you get incensed unless you change your thinking. Your thoughts based on your stored memories caused you to act the way you do. You've learned unconsciously to deal with your anger in such a manner. You must replace this mental conditioning and find other ways to channel your annoyance each time you feel it coming.
Interrupt it.
The fastest way to interrupt your temper is to take a few deep breath. Watch and feel the flow of your breathing that you have taken so much for granted. Getting angry and stressed can distort your judgment whereas controlled breathing clears your mind. Another way is to change your physiology. Each time you feel like getting mad, do something else like going for a run, gardening, etc.
Change your focus.
When you notice your anger rising, locate at which part of your body are you feeling the specific sensation. How is the feeling like? Try to view yourself doing your rage. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and see how you would look like when you rant.
Examine your personal values.
You need to seriously examine your personal values. What is more important to you? Is it your relationship or is it the need to be "right"? Is showing your power more important than love and warmth? You can choose whether you want to feel angry or to stay calm and unruffled.
Keep your distance.
Moving away from a person or situation that provokes you is not running away. It is preventing yourself from repeating your undesirable approach. Taking a long walk will give you the time and space to look at the core of the issue. Distancing yourself will allow you to cool down.
Journal it.
At the end of the day, mentally go through your activities and recall your emotions and state of mind. How many times did you feel annoyed? What were the triggers, reasons or causes? How many times were you able to control and divert your focus? What did you do to change your frame of mind?
Write them all down. Monitor your emotions for several weeks and see how you have reacted. Can you imagine the change and improvement you will make when you are able to control and channel your anger through other positive ways each day?
Forgive.
Forgive the people who have hurt you either intentionally or without their knowledge. Forgive yourself. Each night before you sleep, do a few deep breathing exercise to put your body and mind in a relaxed state. Think positive and happy thoughts. Then release all your anxieties, anger and resentment. Tell yourself that you are allowing to let go of all those emotions.
Give yourself a second chance.
You get angry as a quick fix of self expression. But what does it really do to you? You have to start thinking deeply about what it is you are trying to achieve. If you have messed up and brought that past resentment into the present it's time to clean up. Give yourself a second chance to start anew. Start from where you are and practice to become better.
People or circumstances have control over you if you allow them to cause your anxiety. It does not matter how you validate or justify your outrage. You can choose to lash out, suppress or ignore your angry emotion. But lashing out or suppressing will bring more stress into your life.
Stress due to seething over your old grievances will cause physical related illness. Relationships with your partner, your kids, coworkers and others will suffer. You will experience more out of life if you choose to release your anger by understanding or ignoring it. It is better to direct your energy in your self-improvement and personal growth.
What do you think?
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