Friendship is a relationship between two or more people who have friendly feeling. Among the people you call pals, not all are your true friends or best buddies.
Many are just acquaintances. Your fellow workers normally fall into this group. You recognize them, talk to them but that's about it, nothing intimate.
You also have companions who go along with you and spend time together for outings or social functions. These buddies may have something in common with you but not necessarily any emotional connection.
And now with social networking websites like MySpace, Facebook and a few others, you can add virtual pals to your list. These are real people and many have developed healthy relationships.
Best friends are what everyone would love to have. There is a special bond between true companions where there is love, respect and intimacy but without it being sexual.
Keeping in constant communication.
Keeping in touch regularly connects people together. Talking and listening to one another keep a relationship alive. It's one of the ways to understand one another and know each person's personal values and aversions.
Sticking together.
Best buddies stick together through thick and thin, in good and bad times. When one faces a challenge in life, the other will support in any way she can. When one person succeeds, they celebrate together.
Being honest.
People usually do not tell the truth to avoid offending anyone. A good buddy however, is honest about what she thinks, gives constructive criticism and provides suggestions for improvement, without hurting or insulting her pal.
Being supportive.
At times your companion may make a decision that, in your opinion, is not good for her. An example is when she decides to marry someone you don't have a liking. This is the test of comradeship. At times like this, you have to give her the support and not interfere. Accept her decision and also her partner and wish them the best.
Showing kindness and courtesy.
Everyone has strengths and weakness. If you want to become a good pal to someone, focus on her good qualities even when she makes mistakes. Give compliments and practice courtesy and good manners.
Being an inspiration.
If you can inspire and encourage people, they will accept you because people love to have a positive influence around them.
Friends come and go. Some grow closer and last a lifetime. Others move on and disappear from our lives. Many got married and focus on their families. Others relocate, are missing, dead or become a changed person and outgrow old companions.
As we advance in life, we meet new acquaintances. These encounters give us ample opportunity to develop new companionship.
Go where they are.
Go to places where there are people. Places of worship, clubs and associations are some examples. Decide what kind of relationship you are looking for and go where these people gather.
Initiate the interaction.
You may have to put aside your shyness and timidity. Almost everyone who doesn't know each other is waiting for the other person to start a conversation. Be the first to make the move. If you realize that you don't like to develop a bond with the person, you can just move on.
Show interest.
One of the ways to show interest is to ask questions. But don't probe because people who don't know you wouldn't want to share their private lives. You can ask her opinion about a subject that is widely discussed.
Introduce yourself.
If you have just relocated to a new office, introduce yourself to fellow workers. If it is a new home, have a housewarming party and invite your new neighbors. It's important to develop new friends so that you won't feel so alone in your new environment.
Be pleasant.
People like to get to know others who have pleasing personalities. Show your friendly nature, dress appropriately and put a genuine smile on your face.
It's easy and fast. And once a relationship between pals ends it's unlikely that it will get back to its original state, though possible.
Loss of trust.
People are sensitive. When she confides to you in private, keep it in confidence. Trust, when dishonored, can ruin intimate relationship.
Betrayal.
A sure way to lose your friend is to betray her. Never ever sleep with your bosom buddy's partner.
Poor communication.
If you spend more time talking then listening, if you brag too much and if you want to win in all the conversations, forget about a lasting relationship.
Trying to change the other person.
A true companion is someone who knows all about you and still like you. But when you try to work on her and change according to your standards, you create resistance. You cannot change anyone even if you argue or use the emotional approach.
Being overly critical or judgmental.
Disapproving everything your pal does make you lose her. She doesn't need you for that and she doesn't have to take it.
Lack of personal space.
If you are so attached to a person at the expense of everything and everyone else that it becomes an obsession, you are actually suffocating your relationship. In every relationship, each person needs her own personal space.
Neglect.
Without giving attention, you lose the connection with your pals.
Competing.
Healthy competition is good. But if you go all out to do what she does, and fight for the same thing or person, you can say goodbye to your friendship.
What do you think?
Back to Relationship Advice
Return from Developing and Maintaining Friendship Personal Growth Home
No comments:
Post a Comment